His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had to cum in my sink.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
