he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
