I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
