Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
