You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
