beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i dont even know how to be here
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
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