and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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