Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
