She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
