u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize