If i come over, it means nothing
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
