thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize