Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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