that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hippo gnu deer
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
