google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The best revenge is premature balding
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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