I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
