can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
