we're blogging at a bar
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
