Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
