Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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