Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
your room smells of hookers.
And success
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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