I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
