dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
