I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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