At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
