this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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