I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
