Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
