im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
