It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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