Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
