Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
