With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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