her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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