Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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