She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
