can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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