Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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