My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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