Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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