yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He felt like a one man threesome
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
