Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
