Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
