You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
