"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
