I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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