uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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