I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
