I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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