so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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