BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
