I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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