I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The feeling are messing with the penis
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
