So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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