I got chris browned last night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
