you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
