Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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