i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
