Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I currently don't understand fingers.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
