ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
