I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
